P3+ABasurto

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.


 * //A government or business agency should look at the Pros and cons of the non indigenous species, research its effect on the environment, and be able to justify their reason for moving the species.//**

Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? (TS 2) The thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really does express the main point that I make in the essay because I try to prove and stay on the topics that I am writing about.

Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? (TS 3) My thesis statement does reflect everything in the essay because each body paragraph reflects a point from my thesis statement. My essay does develop everything in the thesis statement because each of the my body paragraphs try to prove my thesis statement's point.

Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? (TS 5) My thesis makes a positive statement rather than a negative one because it looks at both the pros and cons of the topic.

Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? My thesis does posit an argument that is actually worth going. It asks to "justify their reason for moving the species."

Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? (TS 6) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) No, not every clause in my thesis statement is in the active voice because I talk more about what the agencies should do in the future. "research its effect on the environment," and "be able to justify their reason for moving the species."

Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. (TS 4) No, my thesis only answers the how question on what the agencies should do, not why.

Is your thesis statement clear (TS 7), precise and limited (TS 8), controversial or informative (TS 9), and defensible (TS 10)? My thesis statement is clear, precise, limited, and controversial because it tries to focus on every aspect of my argument.

B. Introduction and conclusion.

//**Countries today are very diverse and different from when they were created. This is a result of many different species migrating or being moved from one country to another. For example, today America is as successful as it is because of all the foreigners. But not all foreign imports are good to a native land. Before transferring a hardy but non indigenous species to another country, a government or business agency should look at the pro's and con's of the non indigenous species, research its effect on the environment, and be able to justify their reason for moving the species.

No Conclusion**//

Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) My first paragraph isn't interesting because it doesn't provide concrete or specific material that is likely to catch the reader's attention, although it does focus on the topic. Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. I tried to make a clear contract with the reader. "Countries today are very diverse and different from when they were created." Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) My conclusion doesn't satisfy my contract with the reader because I didn't write a conclusion.

C. Body

__Topic sentence #1:__ "Researching the effect of the species on the environment is probably one of the most important things." __Topic sentence #2:__ "The Pros and Cons are also very important" __Topic sentence #3:__ "Agencies need to be able to justify their reason for moving a species."

__Best:__ Researching the effect of the species on the environment is probably one of the most important things. First of all, its important because when an environment is affected, so are the people, animals, and jobs it's providing for. For example, in Source D, the Perry's not only lost their way of making money, but they almost lost their lives because they couldn't do anything about the microbes that were killing their crops. Although small species such as the insects may not seem dangerous to the environment, they killed the fir trees in North America, making it look like a fire had just occurred (Source A). This is why the effect on the environment is one of the most important issues. __Worst:__ Agencies need to be able to justify their reason of moving a species. Source F shows how people thought that the toads would be good. But that wasn't enough to justify their reason because they should have tested the toads out first before the toads started killing everything.

Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? My paragraphs in my essay don't move in a logical direction and the reader doesn't have the experience of getting someplace, answering questions or moving towards a point. Instead, it just jumps around for no apparent reason. If my body paragraphs would have been supported with good evidence, the organization of my essay would have been well done. But since it wasn't, it seems like there is no organization and like it's just a mess. I don't think any of my transitions are strong, instead they are all weak.

Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? (DIH 2.4) My essay would not be persuasive to someone who doubts my thesis statement.

In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? "They killed the fir trees in North America, making it look like a fire had just occurred." I do write about actual people that I got from the documents. I could have included a story in my second body paragraph to show what would happen if the agencies didn't look at the pros and cons of the situation. I should have included a source so that the reader could have understood what I meant in my third body paragraph. In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. (DIH 2.4) In my essay, I don't answer the question "How do I know?" for every claim I make. The quality of my evidence wasn't good at all because my only evidence was when I wrote about the documents. I think the strongest evidence I have are the documents and the weakest are when I try to expand on what the Documents are saying. Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? (DIH 2.4, 31a 1 and 3) My evidence is introduced and cited correctly. Although it's not well explained. Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? Most of my sentences in each paragraph to lead to or from the topic sentences. My most coherent paragraph is my first body paragraph and the least is the third body paragraph. Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? Not every paragraph is fully developed. The first paragraph is and the other two body paragraphs aren't. My best developed paragraph is the first one and the last one is the worst. Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? My essay is clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage. My most frequent errors are capitalizing words that shouldn't be.

Overall:

How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? This essay isn't very interesting. It would be most interesting to elderly people and scientists who like to read about these kinds of topics. It would be less interesting to teenagers. The part that is most interesting is my introduction. My body paragraphs are the least interesting. During most of my essay, the readers will be both confused and bored. How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? My essay would not be effective in persuading others to believe my thesis statement because it is not well supported and the evidence I chose wasn't the best.