P3+MStack

Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2]) 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])?
 * //A government needs to consider the amount of money the new species would make, the effects on the surrounding environment, and the possible benefits of a species, before introducing it.//**
 * The thesis statement partly expresses the main point of my essay. The thesis would have been more significant if it stated something about losing money and making money.
 * The thesis statement clearly reflects the essay because the three main points are stated in the sentence. The Essay develops the thesis statement by having a paragraph for each point.
 * The thesis statement gives a moderate feeling, because it has benefits and disadvantages.
 * Yes, the thesis statement is worth arguing. It argues that before a government introduces a non-indigenous species to an area, that they should predict the amount of money it will cost, the effect on the surrounding environment, and the benefits of the introduction.
 * There is only example of active voice. The example is, “A government needs”.
 * My thesis does not answer the “why” and “how” questions. I believe it satisfy the reader, but could do a better job. I could have added something about predicting and something about introducing a new species could have devastating effects, of it could be extremely beneficial.
 * Yes, my thesis is precise and limited. I could be more clear, but using different language. And it is informative and defensible.

B. Introduction and conclusion. (Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) __Introduction:__ The world is changing. As the world changes, the population is growing. With the boom in birthrate, many problems arise, due to the number of people. Some governments are able to support their growing population while others are not. Other problems that occur are non-indigenous species invading countries and sometimes destroying an environment, but sometimes helping a population. When a government is deciding to transfer a non-indigenous species into the country they must first, go through the facts. //**A government needs to consider the amount of money the new species would make, the effects on the surrounding environment, and the possible benefits of a species, before introducing it.**// __Conclusion:__ When a country introduces a new species, they must decide the benefits, as well as the risks to the environment and the economy. If the benefits of introducing and non-indigenous species, out weigh the risks, then the new species should be introduced.

1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)
 * Yes, my first paragraph is interesting. It provides concrete detail about issues that are relevant in today's society. I could have made it more interesting by adding more facts.
 * I beleive that I make clear contact with the reader by connecting with them. This is achieved by using subjects that are relavant in today's world.
 * The conclusion does not satisfy the reader, it is rushed and does not successfully conclude the essay.

C. Body (Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.) __Topic sentence for paragraph 1:__ A new species could do wonders for a countires economy, but it can also hurt it. __Topic sentence for paragraph 2:__ The envirornment is a very important issue when considering the transplant of a new species. __Topic sentence for paragraph 3:__ A country must also weigh the benefits of introducing a new species. __Best paragraph:__ A new species could do wonders for a countires economy, but it can also hurt it. A government needs to research the money-loss in depth. For example, in Australia, they introduced Cane Toads into a sugar cane field to try to kill the beetles that were costing them money. Instead, the toads invaded, they even "began munching on everything in sight." __Source F__. The toads even killed animals that tried to eat them. The government, "[embarked] on a multi million-dollar camplain to stop them." __Source F__. The toads cot the government more than they predicted it would save. Introducing a new species could also hurt other species, for example, papayas in Hawaii were attacked be a microbe and, "the papaya industry had nearly vanished." __Source D__. The government must also study the effects of a new organism to its surrounding enviornment. __Worst paragraph:__ A country must also weigh the benefits of introducing a new species. A new species might help by reducing starvation, "The malted grains and flour hold promise as a weaning food, and it is noteworthy that child malnutrition is common." __Source G__. If a species benefits out weigh the risks, the new species should be introduced.

1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?
 * Yes, the paragraphs of my essay move in logical order. They move in the order stated in the introductory paragraph. The reader experiences
 * Overall, my essay translates smoothly. There is a nice flow between paragraphs and each paragraph is aluded by the previous. There is the best organization in the second paragraph, where it is states, "The government must also study the effects of a new organism to its surrounding enviornment." This is a strong transition, because it aludes to the next paragraph. The paragraph with the weakest transition is the fourth paragraph, where it lacks a strong connection to the previous paragraphs.
 * The essay would be less effective on someone who doubts the thesis. If the reader does not believe the thesis, then they will disagree with the over-all concept of the essay. My essay successfully embodies many examples that are relavant to the point.
 * I answer every "How do you know" question with concrete details and examples. The essay overall has strong evidence. Its strongest examples are, the cane toad example in paragraph two. There could be more detail in the fourth paragraph, and it would benefit from more examples.
 * The evidence is correctly supported based on the assignment. It is cited by stating the source and its letter.
 * Most of the paragraphs lead to the central point of the topic sentence. The most coherent paragraph is the second paragraph. The least coherent paragraph is the fourth paragraph.
 * Not all of the paragraphs are fully developed. Paragraphs three and four could be more developed. Paragraphs one and twoo are well developed.
 * This essay needs to be corrected. It is relatively free of grammar errors and word usage, but needs to have the spelling corrected. The most frequent errors are those of spelling.

Overall: 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is? That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?
 * My essay grabs the attention of the reader while proving a point logically, making it interesting. This essay would be most interesting to readers who are well informed about the enbvironment, and have some knowledge about what is happening globally and politically. It would be less interesting to readers who are not interested in conserving the evironment or helping the world's economy. The most interesting parts are the parts about conserving the economy. The least interesting parts are the parts about making money. There are a few parts where the reader might be confused.
 * I think that my essay is effective, but only to a certain point. It would only be successful in persuading other members of the class on certain points. The points that would not be successful would need to be written about more in depth.