P3+MWeir

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)


 * //Any buisness or government agency considering transferring nonindigenous species have to think of every element of an ecosystem as an individual; if any piece does not fit precisely into the puzzel, consequences can be dire and if every piece does fit, it can turn into a work of art.//**

Yes, because the main point is how sensitive environments are to this change. That is pretty much the jist of it. It does. It remains pretty neutral. The idea is to inform the reader. The argument is really more or less of a warning. It tells the reader that they most be careful with this power they have been given, advising them to use it responsibly. Yes. It does not answer why or how to the satisfaction of the reader. It gives an analogy, but it does not answer the question directly. It gives an opinion, but it needs to be defended. I hope it is precise, I don' t think it is limited but it is informative.
 * Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay?**
 * Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement?**
 * Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one**?
 * Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument?**
 * Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice?**
 * Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay.**
 * Is your thesis statement clear, precise and limited, controversial or informative and defensible?**

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How?** It is dramatic, but maybe a tad too wordy. It provides some concrete material but it is awfully general. My contract is the importance of research when dealing with nonindigenous species. It stresses the consequences of unsuccessful introductions.
 * Introduction**: The world is an extremely sensitive organism. When nonindigenous species are introduced into a new environment it is important to anticipate an effect. Sometimes, when a new species is introduced, it can devour the entire ecosystem because it is too powerful. Thus, an entire system is thwarted. **//Any buisness or government agency considering transferring nonindigenous species have to think of every element of an ecosystem as an individual; if any piece does not fit precisely into the puzzel, consequences can be dire and if every piece does fit, it can turn into a work of art.//**
 * Conclusion**: **//In order for a system to thrive, all elements must be functioning in sync.//** If any environment is not balanced, one aspect will devour the other. When the risk is complete eminent destruction, every precaution is necessary.
 * Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? Do you make a clear contract with the reader?** **Please summarize what you believe your contract is.

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.)

Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? (DIH 2.4) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. (DIH 2.4) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? (DIH 2.4, 31a 1 and 3) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?

Overall:

How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?** I feel like my essay could have been more interesting. This essay would most likely interest those thinking of importing nonindigenous species. They may be searching for the risks or writing a DBQ. It may also interest people who are sincerly concerned with nature and its well being. I believe it tells it as it is. It is effective because it is simple and pretty straight foward.
 * How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused?