P3+SLyons

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //Before someone could bring a nonindigenous species to another country they need to consider whether the species would destroy the ecosystem, whether it could carry anything harmful into that country, and whether it could disrupt all life in that area.//**

Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? (TS 2) Yes, my thesis does express the main point I made. I showed a few of the factors that someone has to consider before bringing a nonindigenous species to another country. I wrote a paragraph to elaborate on each factor.

Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? (TS 3) Yes, my thesis statement shows everyting that I wrote in my essay. The essay goes into detail on each of these topics and relates them back to the sources that we were given.

Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? (TS 5) The thesis is a negative statement because it talks about the harm that could occur by bringing a new species into a country.

Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? It does create an argument about the destruction that could occur when a new species is brought into a new country. It is worth arguing because some people could believe that these risks are not present when importing an animal.

Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? (TS 6) It is in passive voice because the actions in this statement are not being carried out at this moment.

(List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) subject- **//nonindigenous species//** verb-**//bring//** verb **//destroy//** verb **//carry//** verb **//disrupt//**

Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. (TS 4) My thesis does say what must be considered before the importing of the species.

Is your thesis statement clear (TS 7), precise and limited (TS 8), controversial or informative (TS 9), and defensible (TS 10)? I believe that my thesis is clear, precise but not limited, informative, and defensible.

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) Intronduction: New species in an area can completely destroy the ecosysterm and life. Bringing new species into a country is a risky job. Stricter regulations may need to be implemented to stop the destruction of wildlife. **//Before someone could bring a nonindigenous species to antoher country they need to consider whether the species would destroy the ecosystem, whether it could carry anything harmful into that country, and whether it could disrupt all life in that area.//** Conclusion: There are many factors to consider before importing a new species. All of these factors are important to preserving life. If any one of these factors is left unchecked it could result in disaster.

Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) It is semi-interesting. It doesn't have much interesting material and probably won't draw the attention of the reader very well.

Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. It is a clear contract because I outline 3 factors that are to be considered before bringing a nonindigenous species to a new country.

Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) Yes, it sums up all of the ideas presented in the essay and tells what the result could be if these factors are not considered.

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.) Topic Sentence: New species in an are can completely destroy the ecosystem and life. Best Paragraph: Tha last major factor that should be considered is whether it can disrupt life in that country. It is possible that new species can reproduce and destroy the food chain in a country causing a huge problem. Peter N. Spotts describes the invasion of "cane toads" in his article "Australia's Most Unwelcome Guest". (Source F) Spotts shows that the "cane toad" that was imported from the Carribbean "began munching on almost everything in sight". They also "spread along a broad swath of the country." The toads started spreading aroung the country killing everything that it could. It didin't eat the sugar cane as it was supposed to. It completely disrupted the food chain of Australia. This is a huge factor that, if left unconsidered, could cost the lifes of thousands. Worst Paragraph: When bringing a new species into another country there is a risk of ecosystems being destroyed. This is shown in "Animal Invaders and Pathogens" (Source A) which is a photo showing the destruction of a fores. This photo shows how "balsam woolly adelgids, insects" that were brought here from Europe, destroyed an entire forest of "balsam fir trees". The insects penetrated the trees and killed them. THis shows that imported species can destroy the ecosystem in the area they are brought.

Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? They move in a logical direction showing that the importing of new species could be detrimental. It jumps at certain places. The organization is overall ok. The transitions are best between the 3rd and 4th and 4th and 5th paragraphs. They are weakest towards the begining of the essay.

Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? (DIH 2.4) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? I believe that it would be persuasive because I use quotes from sources about times when a country brought in a species and it destroyed some life. For example, in my final body paragraph I describe the "'can toad'" which was brought to Australia and disrupted the entire food chain. I did not write about actual people in my essay and I feel that I could have been more specific in each of my paragraphs.

In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. (DIH 2.4) No, I believe that if a reader was doubting this topic then their view on it would only change slightly by reading this essay. My eveidence was strongest in my 3rd body paragraph when I was talking about the cane toads. My evidence was weakest in the 1st paragraph about the trees being killed.

Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? (DIH 2.4, 31a 1 and 3) The evidence is introduced and explained clearly. I did not cite the works because they were already cited in the packet of documents that we recieved. I did make a reference to which document I used.

Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? It leads to the central point by describing certain senarios that could take place if a species is taken to a different country. My most coherent paragraph was my 3rd body paragraph about the destruction of life and my least coherent was my 1st body paragraph.

Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? Not every paragraph is fully developed. The 1st and 2nd body paragraphs aren't developed completely while the 3rd body is. The topic and final paragraphs are fully developed. My most developed paragraph is my 3rd body while my least is my 1st body paragraph.

Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? It has a few errors in grammar but the most errors I have are spelling errors. I mixed up a few letters in a few words throughout the essay.

Overall:

How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? This essay wasn't that interesting. The readers that would be interested in this essay would be people who like semi- boring essays. The most interesting part is the 2nd body paragraph and the least is the 1st body paragraph.

How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? I believe that this essay is semi-effective.