P3+APayzant

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.


 * //People from all over the globe have been arguing that something must be done soon to stop this problem.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2]) **Yes, my thesis does express the main point that i make in this essay. My thesis states that something must be done in order to fix the problem and I support that by suggesting different things that could be done to fix this problem.**
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) **My thesis reflects everything in my essay and all of my body paragraphs suggest a solution to the problem that is given in my thesis. The essay uses support to develop everything in the thesis staement.**
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) **My thesis statement makes a negative statement.**
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? **My thesis provides an agument that is worth arguing. The argument is that something must be done to stop the problem of invasive species.**
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) **Subject: People Verbs: have been arguing**
 * 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) **My thesis does not answer the question "why" but it does ask the question "how" by saying, "something must be done soon to stop this problem." Later in the body paragraphs of the essay i answer the question and state the different things that could be done to fix the problem of invasive species.**
 * 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? **My thesis is a clear statement and contains no ambiguities. It is also precise and limited and only contains what i am willing to defend. It is also infromative and it may be something that some readers do not belive, but i am willing to try and make them belive by the end of my essay. My thesis is also defensible and i defend my thesis many times in the body paragraphs of my essay.**

B. Introduction and conclusion.


 * //In recent years, invasive species or non-native plants and animals have become a problem in global society. Many of the native plants and animals have become endangered by these invasive species, some of which were introduced intentionally to the region. People from all over the globe have been arguing that something must be done soon to stop this problem; the import regulations must become stricter.//**


 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) **The first paragraph is interesting, but it is possible that it could catch the reader's attention more. It does include concrete and specific material that will focus the reader on the topic, but it could hook the reader better.**
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. **I did not make a clear contract with the reader in my essay. I am not able to summarize my contract with the reader because i do not have one included in my essay.**
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) **I did not have a conclusion in my essay, nor did i have a contract with the reader.**

C. Body

//**Topic Sentence Body Paragraph 1: One thing that government or business officials can do to fix the problem is research. Topic Sentence Body Paragraph 2: Also, to solve this problem the government officials could tighten the security on airports and exports. Topic Sentence Body Paragraph 3: Another thing that business and governement officials could do to protect their lands from invasive species is to survey their land every so oftern to check for potential threats before it is too late.

Strongest Body Paragraph: One thing that government or business officials can do to fix the problem is research. When a business intentionally brings a new species onto their land they should do as much research as they can on that species before making the decision to import it. This advice might have been helpful to the Australian growers who thought that bringing toads to their sugar-cane fields would be a good idea. "They'd heard glowing reports about the warty fist-sized amphibians from growers at a conference in the Caribbean two years earlier, and successfully lobbied to import them." [Source F] The Australian growers did not do any research and based their decision merely on word of mouth. This was a bad decision on their part and ended up killing many insects and animals that surrounded the sugar-cane fields.**//

Weakest Body Paragraph: **//Also, to solve this problem the government officials could tighten the security on imports and exports. They could tighten security at airports, train stations, ports, etc. Imports and exports should be inspected very carefully to make sure that theywill not become a threat to anything in this country or another. "The exotic plants and animals we import or move internationally beyond their natural ranges provide an increasing resevoir to potential invaders." [Source E] The imports and exports should also be inspected after arriving at their destination to make sure that they did not bring something potentially dangerous with them after their long travel. If the governement keeps a better eye on things that leave and enter the country, then many nations worldwide would have less problems with invasive species.//**


 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **My paragraphs do not really move in any sort of direction, nor do the allow the reader to get the sense that they are getting someplace. My paragraphs are very repetitive and tend to jump around for no apparent reason. The transitions betweeen my paragraphs are very weak. The transitions and the paragraphs do not really make the reader feel that they have to keep reading.**
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **I did not organize my essay very well at all. I do not have any strong transitions and all of them are equally weak.**
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? **My essay could be persuasive to the reader who doubts my thesis statement. "//One thing that government or business officials can do to fix the problem is research." and// "** //**Also, to solve this problem the government officials could tighten the security on imports and exports. " could both be examples of something that might support the argument that my essay makes in the thesis statement. All of my body paragraphs could use more a more specifc explanation of the things that could solve the invasive species problem.**// **For example, when i say that the officials should do research, I could specify what kinds of research they could do. My essay could also use more citations from sources.**
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) **My essay does not answer the question how do you know. When my essay includes citations it does not really help to argue the point that I make in my thesis statement. The evidence that i use in my essay is not strong; all of the evidence that i use in my essay is extremely weak.**
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) **The evidence that I included in my essay is explained clearly and cited correctly. I do not believe that it is not introduced correctly and I also believe that I could have had better evidence in my essay. The eveidence that i did use was not strong and much of it was not necessary.**
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? **The sentences in my paragraphs do not completely lead to or from the central point of each paragraph. My strongest body paragraph is my most coherent paragraph. My other two paragraphs are not coherent and the sentences in those paragraphs do not lead to or from the central point of each of the paragraphs.**
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? **My strongest body paragraph is fully developed, although it could have been developed even further. My weak body paragraphs were not fully developed and need a lot more work as well as evidence.**
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?**My essay is clearly written and i relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage. My most frequent errors are lack of eveidence and citations. My grammar also could have been better and I could have used larger words.**

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? **My essay is not very interesting at all. Many readers would find it boring and not worth their time. Only few readers would find it interesting at all and most people would be confused by it.**
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? **This is not a very effective essay at all. It would be very difficult to persuade the other members of my class to believe my thesis statement with just the help of my essay. Many of my classmates may become lost and confused from reading my essay.**