P3+CChapin

A. Thesis statement and essay unity. My Thesis Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? My concluding paragraph does not express my main point very clearly it actually restates my thesis more than expressing a main point. It does however give my point that, "Before transfering a hardy but indigeneous specie it is //crucial// for the business or government to consider all possibilities..." Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? My thesis is proven throughout my entire essay body paragraph's. The three points in my thesis are analyzed individually in the three body paragraphs. "Before importing any kind of specie it is essential to consider how it will react to its surrounding's." (Para 2) which adresses the first idea in my thesis. The same goes for the last two ideas in the second and third body paragraph's, " ...it is up to the importer to decide whether the negative effects are manageable." (Para 3) and "It is up to the business or government to judge whether the specie is worth importation."(Para 4) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? The thesis focuses more on how a specie can eventually be imported rather than why it will be denied but it is neither positive nor negative, it is more neutral because it focuses more on the qualifications a specie needs and the steps to deciding whether a specie is okay to be imported. Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? My thesis doesn't have an argument so there is nothing worth argueing. It would have been more beneficial for them to add to my thesis that it is crucial to analyze a specie before having it imported sinc ethat is what my body paragraphs support. Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) Only a few of my clauses in my thesis are in the active voice. government---needs to consider specie---will react specie---whether it can be controlled specie---is worth it Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. I do include why a specie should be analyzed before importation, "...consider //how an indigeneous specie will react to its surroundings//, //whether it can be controlled//, and if the transfer of the hardy but indigeneous specie to another country //is worth it//." (Para 1) Is your thesis statement clear, precise and limited, controversial or informative, and defensible? My thesis is precise and clear but it is not controversial or informative because it gives no information and no cdirect opinion defending either side for the thesis is neutral. B. Introduction and conclusion. Introduction **//A business or government needs to consider how an indigeneous specie will react to its surroundings, whether it can be controlled, and if the transfer of the hardy but nonindigeneous specie to another country is worth it.//** Conclusion Before transfering a hardy but indigeneous specie it is crucial for the business or government to consider all possibilities of the specie, capabilities of the country, and the pros and cons of the specie itself before importing anything. Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? My first paragraph contains only my thesis sentence which does not have information of a view point, next time I need to include an opinion seeing as how my introduction is completely neutral. Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. I do not have a clear contract with the reader, my essay was more of an informational essay proving to the reader that deciding whether to import a specie is a crucial step. It would've been more beneficial to have pointed out how not being careful about importation can effect the lives of the common people. Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? Hypothetically, if I had included how the importance of importing specie's can be I would have been able to conclude that some specie's are not worth the inconvenience and even death that may follow. C. Body Topic Sentences The topic of nonindigeneous species is relatively general and can cover pets, plants, crops, animals, fields, and wood and each case needs to be reviewed individually. Certain species may not react well with their surroundings so it is also up to the importer to decide whether the negative effects are manageable. There may be reactions produced by an indigeneous specie to its surroundings in the new country but if there aren't too many reactions and they are able to be contained importing the specie may be worth the work. Best Sentences In the case of the toads that were supposed to have one destined task unfortunately it wasn't considered that they would also be able to eat everything in sight, kill predators, and spread throughout the country (Source F). Aquaculture requires overseas reserach and development outputs (Source C) just as quinoa requires cultivation (Source G) but the effects are positive. Worst Sentences In the case of the Balsam Fir trees being killed (Source A) the insects that were imported did not react well with the Balsam Fir trees. With our public health system the disease did not get out of hand compared to its extremity in continents such as South America. Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? My paragraphs begin with the first steps of anaylzing a specie and go through the logical order of reviewing them. Each paragraph asks the reader to accomplish an idea at the end of each one and only if the specie is acceptable will the essay continue being helpful. My transition between paragraphs is pretty strong but it is my introduction and conclusion which makes my essay weak. If I were able to introduce and conclude then the reader would be more enticed into the essay and will be able to understand it more clearly. Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? My thesis does not attract the reader's attention but my body support is strong enough to to show the erader that my thesis does have a point. In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? In me ending sentence, "If the specie is able to be contained in spite the fact that it can have "potential invaders" (Source E) the consequences may be able to be controlled and thus the specie can be imported." (Para 3) I have innertwined the document for support but if I had related it with a more specific example as well such as a story with actual people then the essay would have been more enticing. In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. In my essay I do not state any claims without supporting them with source so the question "How do you know" shouldn't come up. My evidence is plentiful throughout the essay including all of the documents but since I have so much evidence my essay is more based on the facts rather than giving space to relate it to the reader. Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? For the DBQ it is just required to mention the source found in parenthesis and quote any direct dialogue and the citing is complete. Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? Each idea in my body paragraphs relates to my thesis although my thesis is not considered a central point. My most coherent paragraph is my first body paragraph because eachsentence directly relates to the thesis which I had just before written. Once I reach my third body paragraph my body sentences start to go on tangents and do not directly relate to the thesis. Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? Each of my paragraphs is fully developed with their basic ideas although I shoudl ahve expanded on each. My best developed paragraph is the one that is closest in relation to my thesis hile my least developed is my last body paragraph which goes on tangents and doesn't dierectly stay on topid which means that there isn't much to develop. Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? My most erros grammatically are weak words such as importer and my repetition of the Balsam Tree throughout paragraph two. Overall: How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? This essay is quite interesting because it points out to the reader that it is up to the reader to make sure a nonindigeneous specie is safe to be imported. It is more interesting to an importer who would understand with the pressure to have such decisions on their shoulders. The people who would be least interested would be the lower class who do not have this situation to worry wbout in the slightest. The essay may be confusing if they are not familiar with the Balsam Fir tree incident where they were all dieing. How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? My thesis statement was neutral making the rest of my essay neutral so my essay wouldn't have much impact on the reader seeing as how I simply pointed out facts giving the reader a chance to come up with their own solution.
 * //A business or government needs to consider how an indigeneous specie will react to its surroundings, whether it can be controlled, and if the transfer of the hardy but nonindigeneous specie to another country is worth it.//**