P3+MParsons

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.


 * //A business or government agency looking to import a nonindigenous species must first research any possible effects it might have on the nonnative ecosystem, both positive and negative effects.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2]) //Yes it does, though i could have expanded further on the positive effects of importation.//
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) //I should have addressed accidental importation as well in my thesis, as I wrote an entire paragraph on it. I also should have developed the positive effects of importation in my essay.//
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) //I don't exactly make a positive or negative statement, i just sort of address how I think the situation should be handled. **"must first research any possible effects"**//
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? //I presented the idea that extensive research should be put into foreign importation.//
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) //No, not every clause is in the active voice. **"governement agency looking"** is in the active voice, while **"government agency...must first research"** is not.//
 * 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) //My thesis states my view on the subject of foreign importation and leaves a lot of room for expansion in the actual essay.//
 * 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? //My thesis is clear and concise, isn't too wordy, is informative yet not controversial and very defensible, as i do defend my thesis throughout my essay.//

B. Introduction and conclusion.

Intro:
 * Each region of the earth has certain species, both plant and animal, that are native to it. They fit the ecosystem and temperature of the area, each region unique to the next. Humans are occasionally able to reap extremely beneficial uses from these species, making other regions long to reap the benefits as well. However, before a nonnative species can be imported to a new country or region, many factors must be considered. A business or government agency looking to import a nonindigenous species must first research any possible effects it might have on the nonnative ecosystem, both positive and negative effects.**

Conclusion:
 * Exporting and importing nonindigenous species may be excellent and beneficial in theory, but if they are not tightly monitored may result in catastrophic events. Research is key when a person is considering importing a foreign species and all possible outcomes should be heavily considered.**
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) //My paragraph is interesting, yet i think i could make it a little more of an attention grabber.//
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. //I make a contract to explain what i think should be done before importing foreign materials, such as **"research(ing) any effects it might have on the nonnative ecosystem."**//
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) //In my conclusion I demonstrate the importance of doing background research when importing or exporting, **"if they are not tightly monitored (they) may result in catastrophic events."**//

C. Body

Topic Sentences:
 * Although a species may be able to thrive and prosper in one area, this may not necessarily be true for aother parts of the world.

Along with every intentional import and export, there also might be an unintentional one.**

Best:
 * Although a species may be able to thrive and prosper in one area, this may not necessarily be true for other parts of the world. Every species has some form of a beneficial use to its surrounding area, and occasionally may be imported or exported for that benefit. Cane Toads commonly feed on beetles and are native to the Caribbean. Planters in Australia were having issues with insects in their crops and rashly decided to import the toads to rid themselves of the infestation. However, the toads began to leave the Australian farm fields and moved on, poisoning creatures and devouring everything in sight as the went. The government was finally forced to “embark on a multimillion – dollar campaign” (Source F) to stop the toads. Australia was forced to waste numerous resources to stop a problem that could have easily been prevented. If the farmers had heightened the amount of research they did concerning the toads, they may have been able to foresee the cane toad disaster.**

Worst:
 * Along with every intentional import and export, there also might be an unintentional one. Bacteria and insects are so small and often unnoticed making it easy to tag along with any trade material. “ The organisms such as snakes and turtles and nursery plants that we import intentionally, however, pale in numbers beside the masses of smaller living things we set in motion incidentally.” (Source E) Sometimes, these unwanted travelers have disastrous effects upon the new region that they arrive in. One instance was when Balsam woolly adelgids were accidentally exported from Europe to the United States. These insects literally destroyed acres of Balsam fir trees in the US. (Source A) This incident may have spurred tighter security concerning international trade.**


 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? //My essay moves in a logical direction, addressing first wanted imports and then talking about unwanted ones. My quotes could have transitioned better in my paragraphs.//
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? //My overall organization is a 4 paragraph essay in which 2 were body paragraphs.// //The best transition was when I stated **"Along with every intentional import and export, there also might be an unintentional one."** It gets the point across.The worst was **"Although a species may be able to thrive and prosper..."**//
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) //I think my essay would be fairly persuasive, I used many examples and compared my ideas to them.//
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) //I am very thourough and clear when desribing examples that supported my thesis.//
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) //My sources are cited very appropriately for this kind of essay.//
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? //Most of my sentences reflect my thesis, although my second paragraph strays from it a little. My most coherent paragraph is the first body paragraph, and the least is the second.//
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? //The first paragraph is the most developed as I explain my example in more detail than the second body paragraph.//
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? //My essay contains no spelling and usage errors, although I do overuse commas in my sentences.//

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? //Overall this essay is fairly interesting, but it can only be so up to an extent, as the prompt itself was not particularly interesting.//
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? //My essay is effective in that I succeeded in proving my thesis throughout my writing. I think that it would be persuasive to other students reading it.//