P4+RArgueta

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

//1. Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? (//[|//TS 2//]//)// I feel that I could've expressed myself more in my thesis statement, however I don't think that the thesis statement I have written really express the main point that I make in the essay because I sort of regurgitated the prompt. //2. Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3])// The thesis statement reflects some parts of the essay. For example, when I talk about the viruses and diseases that some of these nonindigenous species carry such as in Source B and D. The essay doesn't develop everything in the thesis statement because I wasn't able to finish it. //3. Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5])// The thesis statement makes a positive statement because it mentions that the government agency should check for diseases or viruses, if any carried in the nonidigenous specie, which would be a harm overall for any country. //4. Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument?// My thesis does posit an argument that is actually worth arguing. My argument is that government agencies should check for viruses and diseases and any other danger to the country in any way. This argument is worth arguing because these factors can dramatically change a country negatively if they were to somehow began appearing in the country itself. //5//. Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) No it's not because I just stated that the government "...WOULD have to..."; I'm not taking a clear stand in my thesis. 6. Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) My thesis does point out how to create a change in the prompts problem however I'm not so specific in what ways, I wrote more of a general thing. I did state why it was important to check with importing non-indigenous species because they have the potential of harming a countries people and environment. 7. Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? No, my thesis wasn't that well written because it seems like I copied the prompt back in my essay and I take no real stand of how my argument is going to be discussed in my essay. It's not well organized at all.
 * //A government agency would need to consider and further research nonindigenous species before transferring them to another country to check if they carry any viruses and/or diseases and if they could be a danger to the country in any way.//**

B. Introduction and conclusion.

I have no conclusion.

The importation on nonnative plants and animals can be for the better, but for the worst of a country as well. In order for nonnative plant and animals to serve for a country in a positive way the government agency should have control of what is imported into their land. **//A government agency would need to consider and further research non indigenous species before transferring them to another country to check if they carry any viruses and/or diseases and if they could be a danger to the country in any way.//** My first paragraph hardly makes any sense because my topic sentence really doesn't capture an idea head on. It's like mumbo jumbo and I didn't even really explain things to their fullest potential."Just like in the case of Source A." I didnt go into details about what Source A contained. I'd have to say that i make no clear contract with the reader because my paragraphs are all over the place. I don't have well organized or descriptive details. I have no conlcusion
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d)
 * 1) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is.
 * 1) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)

C. Body Topic Sentences: 1st: Even though further research can be possible on these non indigenous species, some factors are left out and are merely possible to detect. 2nd: A controllable factor to be able to detect would be the research for viruses and/or disease of such non indigenous species.

Worst Paragraph: Even though further research can be possible on these non indigenous species, some factors are left out and are merely possible to detect. For example, if an insect or a bug is imported from one country to another, the bug might better or worsten the country. In this particular case the insect worstens the land by eating and destroying a certain type of tree or area of land. Just like in the case of (Source A). This is an uncontrolable factor that a government agency may not be able to detect, however there might be ways to do so.

I didn't have any good paragraphs. My paragraphs make no sense whatsoever because I don't organize myself well enough in the beginning to even have a good middle. Even as I'm re-reading over my paper I see that anyone reading over it would wonder what the heck is going on in my essay. It shows no organization or analytical thought.I dont have any transitions so that doesn't really help out my essay at all. It's confusing. My essay takes no stand so I can't say that it's any where near persuasive. I have no real examples or details in my essay because once again it seems as if I'm just writing without any thought. I should've been way more descriptive. No, I fail to do this as well because I don't have specific examples of what I'm writing or anything. Since I don't have much concrete information a reader would most likely be very befuddled. I have no examples and with that I have no MLA citations except a reference of the source I'm pulling ideas from. Like I had mentioned I don't have any paragraph that's well thought out or written and they're confusing. I didnt have any real plan of attack leaving me with no central point. Nope, the two paragraphs that I have are rushed and have no real point to them. Its just writing that popped into my head and I just wrote it down. It's quite sad to see now when I'm actually taking a look at it individually. No, I had some spelling and grammatical errors. For example, "... the bug might better or worsten the country." There is no such word as worsten, its worsen. When it came to grammar, I forgot to place some commas. Overall: My essay isn't interesting because even though I try to use more sophisticated words I don't use them effectively. This essay wouldnt appeal to anybody at the moment because it needs a lot of reconstruction! This is probably the worst essay I've written. I've come to realize that I don't do so well in essays when it comes to doing them in a timed environment or when I can't have a better understanding of it. Since my thesis is all that well, my classmates wouldnt have anything to disagree or agree on.
 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest?
 * 1) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected?
 * 1) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4])
 * 1) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3)
 * 1) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least?
 * 1) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst?
 * 1) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused?
 * 1) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?