P3+RGolden

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.
Thesis: //**Though poorer nations with weak economies and basic resources could use certain importations, business' and government agencies need to consider what are other outside factors this species could hurt, what we are doing to this species if we take them from their natural habitat, and what are the dangers of this species if it accidentally is imported, therefore business and government agencies need to evaluate throughly what this species does before they try to import this species into a country.**//

Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? (TS 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? (TS 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? (TS 5) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? (TS 6) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. (TS 4) Is your thesis statement clear (TS 7), precise and limited (TS 8), controversial or informative (TS 9), and defensible (TS 10)?
 * -I didnt get to finish my essay, my conclusion was not finished.**
 * -Yes, this thesis staement reflects everything in my body paragraphs and in order they appear in my thesis. In my three body paragraphs explain how the government agencies and business' put the species into dangerous and risky situations and how they need to think twice about where they put the species and how will it affect the species and the country their placed in. Yes, this essay develops everything in my thesis with evidence and facts. In my first body paragraph it explains how they need to think about how this species will adapt to its new eviorment. In the second body paragraph it explains how they need to think about the species and how taking them from their natural habitat will hurt them and that habitat. In the third body paragraph it explains about how they need to think about the dangers of the species, becuase if it is accidentally imported they need to know how to deal with it.**
 * -Yes, this thesis makes a positive statement by implying what a government agency and business needs to think about when they are importing or exporting animals and plants.**
 * -Yes, this thesis poses an argument worth fighting, because business' and government agencies have had issues with importing certain animals and plants and they have hurt something tremendously. The argument is that the government agencies and business' need to evaluate their imports and exports so that nothing horribly bad happens.**
 * -Yes, the clauses in the thesis are in the active voice. "what we are doing to this species if we take them from their natural habitat." Subject: species Verb: take from natural habitat "what are other outside factors this species could hurt." Subject: species Verb: hurt "what are the dangers of this species if it accidentally is imported." Subject: species Verb: accidentally inported.**
 * -Yes, the thesis answers the questions "why?" and "how?". In the thesis it explains why the government agencies and business' need to evaluate their imports and exports to prevent bad things happening to the species. In the thesis it explains how the government agencies and business' need to evaluate their imports and exports by knowing the species throughly to help if anything bad went wrong with the import or export.**
 * -Yes, my thesis is clear, preciselimited, informative, and defensible. In my thesis it clearly states the points I touched on in the body of my essay. The thesis precisely stayed within the boundaries of the essays points and main thoughts.**

B. Introduction and conclusion.
Introduction: //**Global society is affecting and is affected by the species that are being introduced by accideny and for a reason into our regions. Business and Government agencies need to consider a few things before they import an animal or plant into another country.Though poorer nations with weak economies and basic resources could use certain importations, business' and government agencies need to consider what are other outside factors this species could hurt, what we are doing to this species if we take them from their natural habitat, and what are the dangers of this species if it accidentally is imported, therefore business and government agencies need to evaluate throughly what this species does before they try to import this species into a country.**//

Conclusion: //**Governments and Business' need to be much more aware of their imports/exports and the species they are dealing with.**//

Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)
 * -Yes and no, my first paragraph provies concrete material to help prove my point. Although, my first paragraph is not all that interesting to me since I'm not much interested in imports and exports of the Government and Business', but to someone who is I think this first paragraph would be very interesting to them. My first paragraph catchs the readers attention by drawing reasons for why I plan to prove those three points.**
 * -Yes, I believe that I make a clear contract with the reader. I believe my points made in my thesis is the basic contract with the reader and the body paragraphs where I explain why my points are correct.**
 * -No becuase my conclusion was not made, I didnt have enough time to finish, but my conclusion would satisfy the reader if I had written it.**

C. Body
Best Parapgrah: **//Farmers are always dealing with those pests they call insects. Many manufacturing industries are coming up with new chemically and non-chemically killing substance to stop the chewing and eating of their money crops. As Austrila discovered in 1935, Queensland sugar-cane growers were battling beetles that were chewing the sugar-cane away. They heard about Cane Toad's in teh Carribbean two years earlier. So the toads were imported. To the farmers these toads would stop the battle, but they ened up making it worse. The toads were eating everything in sight and their poison even killed predators. (Doc F Business and government agencies should be well aware of the species capablities in any condition. The government had to embark on a multi-million dollar campaign to stop the toads. (Doc F) Governments and business' should always be aware of the species they are going to import. Prior knowledge of this species is crutical to preventing this from happeneing and creating a bigger problem.//** Worst Paragraph: **//Invasive species are basically the enemy of any region that does not carry them in their current ecosystem. The plants and animals we import intentionally beyond their natural ranges provides an increasing reservoir of potential invaders. (Doc E) However, the icidental organisms of the smaller living things that hide in the crates corners and nooks invade the goods it holds. Any animal or plant we import intentionally or non-intentionally, we risk its own life by shipping it with minature oraganisms, putting it in a new region and taking it from its natural region. By importing these animals and plants from their natural regions they become invasive species and automatically impose a threat to that region. Business and government agencies should always be aware of this invasive species will develop in that new region. Some animals and plants could impose a great amount of danger if that business or government agency didn't take into consideration what would happen to that species if you took them from their natural region.//** Topic Sentences: -All Business and Government agencies should be aware of their exported and imported animals and plants, accidental imports/exports could lead to a global epidemic. -Farmers are always dealing with those pests they call insects.**
 * -Invasive species are basically the enemy of any region that does not carry them in their current ecosystem.

Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? (DIH 2.4) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. (DIH 2.4) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? (DIH 2.4, 31a 1 and 3) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? Whats your least? Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?
 * -Yes, the body paragraphs move in a logical direction. It first talks about what could happen when the species is put into a new region, the outside factors of that species and then it moves along to what we do to the species when we take them from their natural habitat. It finishs off with that we should know about the species in case it is accidentally imported so we know how to be prepared for the worst.**
 * -No, this essay does not jump around, it sticks on the topic is mentions in the introduction and thesis. Although, I believe that some more evidence might have been usefull. The reader does get the experience of getting where questions will be answered to get towards the point being proven.**
 * -I think the strongest transition would be between body paragraph 1 and 2. It makes an abrupt end and draws the reader to read more. "Prior knowledge of the species is crutical to preventing this from happening and creating a bigger problem." I think the weakest transition is from body paragraph 3 to the conclusion since I didn't have time to write my conclusion it drops off and it would be the weakest since it wasn't written.**
 * -In my 3rd body paragrpah, at the end, it talks about what happened when an accidental import from Europe to America and how it killed millions of trees. For anyone who doubted my point in my thesis about how the Government agencies and Business' need to thourougly aware of their species that they want to import.export.**
 * -No, I do not write about actual people, but about actual events that happen to people. No specific person was mentioned.**
 * -In everyone of the body paragrpahs, each one could use an actual story from an actual person to make each one much more interesting. Each body paragrpah produces facts and material to help prove the point, but it lacks interesting examples.**
 * -Yes, I did use lots of outside information, but I didnt exactly cite each one perfectly. I put the citation at the end of the whole thought instead of at each individual spot where information from the source was used.**
 * -No and yes, I do provide evidence of"Hhow do you know?", but I could have added much more to make it more clear. I am sure most doubting readers will still be mostly doubted after this essay, not as much as they were once before, but most surely doubting still.**
 * -I think my 1st body paragrpah was the strongest and my 2nd body parapgrah was the weakest. The evidence in the 1st body paragraph is good and it helps prove that paragraphs point, but the 2nd body paragraph it kind of just keeps going on the same level, it doesnt elevate or lift any new ideas or helps entirely with that paragraphs point.**
 * -My evidence is intriduced after I have taken the information from that cited resource. It wasn't introduced clearly I think and it wasnt in MLA format in any way shape or form.**
 * -Yes, my paragraphs talk in accordance with my topic sentences. My most cohernt paragraph would be body paragraph one. It had the most evidence and it sounded the most interesting. It also had examples of real life stories. My worst would be body paragraph two. It didn't sound so interesting and it didnt really go anywhere it sort of just stayed in the same idea and never expanded on it.**
 * -No, all of my paragraphs were some what developed, but I think that every one of my body paragraphs could be more developed and expanded more. I dont think really any of my paragraphs were developed enough to say best and worst ones, but my best would be the first body paragraph, becuase I took examples and facts from sources to prove the point. My worst would have to be the 2nd and 3rd body paragraphs, there was so much more I could have expaned and written on, I just didn't have enough time.**
 * -No, this essay contains many errors in grammar, spelling and I am most sure usage. My most frequent erorrs would be spelling.**

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Overall:
How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? -**To me this essay is somewhat interesting, but not extremely interesting. There could have been alot more to make it more interesting. This woud probably interest readers who are interested in economics or animals and plants. This would be a turn off for people who are interested in economics, but not the government and business part of it. There will be probably many places where the readers will be confused and slightly bored. This essay, again, could be so interesting if there was more examples and outside information to support my thesis.** How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? -**I think that I was slightly effective in persuading any readers, but I'm not entirely confident in this essay. I think this essay is not at all a well written essay. I believe it needed more time and probably more information besides the documents given.**