P4+JMartinez

A. Thesis statement and essay unity. B. Introduction and conclusion. //__**Introduction:**__ When nonnative plants are introduced into a new region it may harm other native plants the same goes for animals. That's why when business and govermant agencies want to transfer a nonindigenous species to another country it must first consider a few things. Those things are wether or not the nonnative species will affect plants, animals or people, also what could be the consequences of putting the nonnative species in a new enviroment and lastly wether the chance that it may help a poorer nation is worth the risk, the native animals, plants and people will be put to.
 * //That's why when business and govermant agencies want to transfer a nonindigenous species to another country it must first consider a few things. Those things are wether or not the nonnative species will affect plants, animals or people, also what could be the consequences of putting the nonnative species in a new enviroment and lastly wether the chance that it may help a poorer nation is worth the risk, the native animals, plants and people will be put to.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2]) **Yes it does because i state what will be covered throughout my essay.**
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) **Yes it does reflect everything in the thesis statement but i don't believe the essay developes everything in the thesis statement.**
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) **My thesis statement does make a positive argument rather that a negative because they are suggestions.**
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? **No the position i take in my essay is not worth arguing because there is not much to argue about.**
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) **No the clauses in my thesis statement are not in the active voice because they are merely suggestions and ideas.**
 * 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) **No they do not answer the questions therefore leaving the reader in doubt. No my thesis statement does not have information on which ti expand on.**
 * 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10]) **My thesis statement is precise and limited becasue it's straight foreward and does not ahve much information to go on.**
 * __Conclusion:__** Many things must be put into consideration before transferring any species into a new ecosystem and enviroment. It may be helpful in the end but there is always a consequence to the importion of nonnative species into a unknown enviroment. Consider the chances, consequences and the pay off of importing a nonindigenous species.//
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) **My first paragraph could have been better and it's not very interesting. I t does not provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on my topic.**
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. **I don't believe i make a clear contract with the reader becasue i don't have enough supporting details.**
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) **My conclusion does not satify my contract with the reader because it just once again states the main points covered in my essay.**

C. Body 1)**Business and goverment agencies must put into consideration wether or not there is a chance that animals and plants may be in anyway harmed ny the nonnative plants.** 2)**Business and goverment agencies must look into what may be some of the outcomes of transferring nonnative species into another country.** 3)**Business and goverment agencies might transfer nonnative species for the grater good of a country but there is always a chance it might backfire.**
 * __Topic Sentences__**

__**Best Paragraph:**__


 * Business and goverment agencies must put into consideration wether or not there is a chance that animals and plants may be in anyway harmed ny the nonnative plants. As it happenes in the case of the balsam fir trees (source A), something as small as an insect can kill a native species. These native plants and animals heve their own ecosystem in which they function, when a nonnative species is introduced it can unbalance the ecosystem therefore harming the native animals and plants.

__Worst Paragraph:__

Business and goverment agencies must look into what may be some of the outcomes of transferring nonnative species into another country. Something as small as a microbe can kill all of a farms produce (source D), epidemics can make species vanish within a small anount even if were it originated it did not have the same effect. Nonative species may not have the same effect everywere it is taken. even when a species is not intentionally taken to another country it can still cause alot of harm, because species of plants and animals are daily transferred into different countries accidentaly (source E) and because species are daily transferred they are changing the enviroment even if it is some small insignificant way. As it happened in Hawaii (source D). Yet even if the transferring of a species is meant to do good there is always a chance it may backfire.**


 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **My essay does move in a logical direction. I don't believe the reader has the experience of getting someplace or getti to a certain point. In some parts my essay jumps around for no apparent reason. The overall organization i think is well done the transition from paragraph to paraghraph could have been stronger but overall it was well done.**
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **Overall it was weak because it was not well planned out ahead before writting the essay.**
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? **No my essay would not be persuasiv eto someone who doubts my thesis statement. I f i would hav eadded people and stories and more outside information it might have made my essay more persuasive.**
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) **In the essay, I do not answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim I make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied. In my forst body paragraph the evidence i use is the stroffest and gets weaker as the essay proggresses. ex://As it happenes in the case of the balsam fir trees (source A), something as small as an insect can kill a native species.//**
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3)**The evidence, were ther is any is well introduced and each source that is used is cited correctly. Ex: //Something as small as a microbe can kill all of a farms produce (source D), epidemics can make species vanish within a small anount even if were it originated it did not have the same effect.//**
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? **Each sentence in each paragraphdoes lead to or from the central point for the most part. My most coherent paragraph is the first body paragraph. The least coherent is the third body paragraph.**
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? **Every paragraph is not well developed. The second body paragraph is well developed while the third isn't. My best developed paragraph is the second body paragraph.**
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? **The essay is clearly written and for the most part relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage. My frequent error are punctuation and spelling.**

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? **This essay is very interesting, it would be nore interesting to people who worry about the enviroment. The kind of readers who would be les sinterested would be the people who don't care about the ebviroment. Yes there are parts were the reader will be bored and confused.**
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? **I don't think my essay would be very succesful in persuading the other members of the class to believe my thesis statement because the is not enough supporting details in the essay.**