P3+TMcClanahan

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

//**Business or government agencies need to consider what the affect of the imported species is going to be and if it is worth the risk.**//
 * 1) **Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay?** //No, i didn't have a thesis at the end of my essay.// ([|TS 2])
 * 2) **Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement?** //Yes,the body paragraphsare based on the idea that is stated in my thesis.// ([|TS 3])
 * 3) **Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one?** //It isn't really positive or negative, it suggests that agencies need to do a better job, but it doesn't say they are doing a bad job.// ([|TS 5])
 * 4) **Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument?** //yes, the argument is that business and government agencies need to pay more attention to imports and exports.//
 * 5) **Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice?** //No, it is more in passive voice and doesn't state actually things that need to be done.// ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.)
 * 6) **Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay.** //No it doesn't really explain why or how, just the fact that something does need to be done.// ([|TS 4])
 * 7) **Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])?** //yes, it clearly states what I will be talking about, and no, it isn''t very informative, and yes, it is defensible because it picks a side and it can be argued.//

B. Introduction and conclusion. Conclusion:** Business and government agencies need to consider doing simple research on imported items and examinations on things that are being exported to prevent major epidemics from occuring. Being thorough with these procedures could save many lives.
 * Introduction:** Importation of nonindigenous species to other countries has proven to have a potential fatal affect on the inhabitants of the area. **//Business or government agencies need to consider what the affect of the imported species is going to be and if it is worth the risk.//


 * 1) **Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic?** //yes, it provides concrete and specific material to catch the readers attention because it talks about life threatening things.//(2d)
 * 2) **Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is.**
 * 3) **Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)**

C. Body
 * Topic Sentnce:** Agencies should also do research on the objects or organisms that they are importing.
 * Best Paragraph****:** Agencies should also do research on the objects or organisms that they are importing. Being able to know that something imported to your country could cause an epidemic, before it was actually imported, could save many lives. In Australia, there was an incident where the cane toad was imported to get rid of insects that were eating sugar cane. Research on the cane toad was not sufficient and the cane toads got out of control. "The cane toad [had] become a poster child for the problem of invasive species here, frocing the government to embark on a multimillion-dollar campaign to stop them..." (Source F). A little bit of research by a business agency could have saved Australia millions of dollars.
 * T****opic Sentence:** Insects are also easily transported from fruits and vegetables, and in containers and crates in ships.
 * Worst Paragraph:** Insects are also easily transported from fruits and vegetables, and in containers and crates in ships. The inability for an agency to realize that insects were being accidentally imported with their goos could cause something to the extreme of an entire forest being wiped out (Source A).
 * 1) **Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason?** //The paragraphs move in a somewhat logical direction, however there isnt really much movement. The reader probably wouldn't feel like their really moving toward a point, but rather that the point is being restated.//
 * 2) **Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest?** //My transistions aren't very good. There is no real link between paragraphs. The strongest transtion is probably from "//These hitchhikers could be carrying potentially fatal diseases that could cause an epidemic in certian areas" //to "//Agencies should also do research on the objects or organisms that they are importing."
 * 3) **Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected?** //Yes, my essay clearly states how importation without considering the affects has been harmful and the are quotes supporting that statement from the sources. My specific examples were: "//organisms such as snakes and turtles and nursery plants" are known as "hitchhikers that ride in ballast tanks or aboard the hulls of ships, in airplane cargo holds and cabins, and in nooks and crannies of shipping crates and containers" (Source E). "The cane toad [had] become a poster child for the problem of invasive species here, frocing the government to embark on a multimillion-dollar campaign to stop them..." (Source F). Entire forest being wiped out (Source A). //No, i don't write about actually people just to people that are in an agency group. If i wouldv'e added a story after my first body paragraph it wouldv'e made the essay more interesting for the reader. The first souce, source E, couldv'e been introduced more cleary, but all citations were provided.//
 * 4) **In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4])** //No, i don't answer the "how do you know?" for every claim. My evidence is generally good, my strongest being that on can toads,// "The cane toad [had] become a poster child for the problem of invasive species here, frocing the government to embark on a multimillion-dollar campaign to stop them..." (Source F), //and my weakest being that on the balsam fir trees,// Entire forest being wiped out (Source A).
 * 5) **Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3)** //The evidence is introduced fairly well, but not all of it is explained clearly. Yes, it is cited correctly.//
 * 6) **Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least?** //No, a few sentences kind of go away from the central point. **Most coherent:**// Agencies should also do research on the objects or organisms that they are importing. Being able to know that something imported to your country could cause an epidemic, before it was actually imported, could save many lives. In Australia, there was an incident where the cane toad was imported to get rid of insects that were eating sugar cane. Research on the cane toad was not sufficient and the cane toads got out of control. "The cane toad [had] become a poster child for the problem of invasive species here, frocing the government to embark on a multimillion-dollar campaign to stop them..." (Source F). A little bit of research by a business agency could have saved Australia millions of dollars. **//Least coherent://** Insects are also easily transported from fruits and vegetables, and in containers and crates in ships. The inability for an agency to realize that insects were being accidentally imported with their goos could cause something to the extreme of an entire forest being wiped out (Source A).
 * 7) **Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst?** //No paragraph is fully developed. I felt rushed well writing it so nothing ended up being as well developed as it could have.//
 * 8) **Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?** //For the most part it is clearly written, there are a few grammar errors and the word use is very basic.//

Overall:
 * 1) **How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused?** //My essay is not very interesting. Using a story as an example probably could have made it more interesting for some readers. This would be more interesting to those who don't know too much about imports and indigenous species problems and less interesting for those who already know about the problems. Readers will probably be bored and confused throughout because the developement of the essay isn't very good.//
 * 2) **How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?** //It would be somewhat effective in that there are good points made in it. Howeever, i wasn't able to explain my ideas to the best of my ability.//