P4+AMartinez


 * Thesis statement and essay unity.**


 * //Therefore, business and government agencies should most definitely consider the possible benefits or consequences that imported plants or species could do for their country by investing tests to see if the imports will be a positive contribution to their economy and environment.//**

I'd have to say that my thesis statement is good because I didn’t regurgitate the prompt, however I took the words and manipulated them in a matter in which I was going to be able to have a well organized start to my essay. If I would’ve been able to finish my essay I definitely think that my thesis could’ve been reflected upon my essay and my essay would’ve went back to what my thesis was. I was going to be using Source F (with the toads), Source G (with the plant), and Source B (with the SARS virus) to prove why it’s important to test out importations of non-indigenous species to other countries. It definitely takes a **stand but it is more of a positive suggestion, “****//Therefore, business and government agencies should most definitely consider the possible benefits or consequences that…”//** It’s kind of hard to say. I have a good thesis and it proves a valid argument because in my first paragraph, I show why its important to test out non-indigenous imports “ This clearly shows why it would be important to create tests to determine whether or not an imported animal or plants would actually benefit a countries purpose.” My thesis has doesn’t have the why but it does have a suggestion of how to be cautious with imports. My thesis would definitely be defensible because I’m letting the reader know that countries need to be more cautious of what they important and how they can do that.
 * Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? (TS 2)**
 * Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? (TS 3)**
 * Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? (TS 5)**
 * Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument?Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? (TS 6) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.)**
 * Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. (TS 4)**
 * Is your thesis statement clear (TS 7), precise and limited (TS 8), controversial or informative (TS 9), and defensible (TS 10)?**

In order to strive economically, there are a numerous amount of chances countries have to take when it comes to importing goods. The importation of non0indigenous species to other countries can become risky because it could have the potential of harming the countries environment by trying to force the non-indigenous species from their natural habitat. **Therefore, business and government agencies should most definitely consider the possible benefits or consequences that imported plants or species could do for their country by investing tests to see if the imports will be a positive contribution to their economy and environment.**
 * B. Introduction and conclusion.**

I didn’t have a conclusion since I wasn’t able to finish the essay.

I think I could’ve been a little more interesting; it’s not boring but it isn’t so witty either. It does provide interesting information that was from the source and I think by mentioning “It is now going to cost the Australian government a multi-million dollar campaign…” would definitely catch a reader’s attention because they’d wonder what went completely wrong that now Australia has to go paying a lot of money to stop some toads.
 * Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d)**

I don’t make any straightforward comments to the readers, I’m more informative but what I’m basically trying to let the reader know is that there needs to be precautions when importing species because if they’re not tested the results could really damage the country in many more ways than financially.
 * Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is.**

I have no conclusion.
 * Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)**


 * C. Body**

1st paragraph (TS): “In Source F, there is a perfect example of a country that didn’t take the tie to plot out of importing cane toads were actually going to help their agriculture dilemma.” 2nd Paragraph (TS): “Source G provides an example of a beneficial plant import to upland areas.”

Well I was starting out with a well organized format but I didn't finish it thereofre the reader wouldve been left with the doubt if my essay was going to be good or not. I'd have to say it was weak because it want finished.
 * Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest?**

I dont think it would necessarily be persuasive because I'm actually just giving out reasons why they should test out imported species to other countries and example of what could happen. I wasn't trying to be persuasive. I shouldve given a more persuasive tone and explain things more into details. I don't include any people so maybe I think I couldve been "exploding" on certain things more but I just couldnt think of how to add more interesting things into my essay.
 * Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? (DIH 2.4) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected?**

That's probably one of the biggest mistakes (that I barely realized) I made because I'm stating the general details of the sources however I didn't quote any specific evidence so maybe the reader would have some questions. I didn't accomplish to do that so I'd have to say I failed. I only have one paragraph and now that I've been disecting it I could've completely done better because I'm just repphrasing what happened in the sources. My topic sentence is straight to the point because I'm being straightforward in taking a stand of what happened in the situation. "In Source F, there is a perfect axample of a country that didnt take the time to plot ouf if importing cane toads were actually going to help their agricultural dilema." Unfortunately I only had one paragraph and that was decentley developed. I know I could've been more descriptive but I find it really hard to organize my thoughts in a paragrpah because I usually start jumping aroudn or rushing.
 * In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. (DIH 2.4)**
 * Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? (DIH 2.4, 31a 1 and 3)**
 * Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least?**
 * Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst?**

From what I looked at, I don't think I had any spelling errors but I think I may have had some grammatical errors (not plaing comas or semi colons) in places needed.
 * Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?**

Overall:

It isn't that interesting because I wasn't able to finish what I started. It's pretty sad I didn't get to finish!
 * How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused?**

This was absolutely horrid for the fact that I didn't get to finish so there's hardly anything to criticize or admire. It was a disaster for the fact I really had nothing.
 * How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?**