P3+EEdles

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //Either way there is much to consider before importing nonnative species because there are many possible dangers. A business or government agency must consider all of the potential harms and consequences of theses importations.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? Yes, throughout my essay I talk about the potential problems there are for importing nonnative species. "An infestation like this could potentially wipe out an entire ecosystem and kill many of our necessities."([|TS 2])
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? Yes my thesis statement does reflect everything that is in my essay it is just extremely vague. My whole essay talks about the problems that importing nonnative species could potentially do but I did not specify enough. ([|TS 3])
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? My thesis statement is neither positive or negative, it is just talking about what needs to be taken into consideration about importing nonnative species.([|TS 5])
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? One could argue both for or against my thesis statement, it is very neutral.
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) Yes my thesis is in the active voice. the verbs are consider, harms, consequences.
 * 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) My thesis statement does not answer either question why or how. It doesn't answer any questions and need to be evaluated better.
 * 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? My thesis statement is clear, precise and limited, controversial or informative, and defensible. It is very vague so it is easy to defend.

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)

The regulations of importing nonnative species into regions is a controversial topic. Some people believe that their should be stricter regulations of importations while other believe that nations could improve by selective importations of nonnative species. //**Either way there is much to consider before importing nonnative species because there are many possible dangers. A business or government agency must consider all of the potential harms and consequences of these importations.**// Business and government agencies have alot to consider before transferring a nonindigenous species to another country. There could potentially be great harm to the environment and to humans. Even if the nonnative species is being sent for a positive reason there could also be many negative reactions. People need to be very careful about how and how much nonindigenous species are imported.
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) Yes i think that my first paragraph was interesting and provides concrete and specific material. It has both a negative and positive aspect to it.
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. I don't think that it makes clear contact with the reader because it is kind of confusing about what my point is.
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) The conclusion is way too similar to my introduction paragraph because they say the exact same things.

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.) Many nonnative importations are caused by small insects. Agricultrally when a farmer is being pested by certain insects such s beetles. Nonnative importations can also effect humans directly.

Best: Nonnative importations can also effect humans directly. Source B talks about the SARS breat out in 2003. This respritory illness spread to more than two dozen countries causing many people to become ill and some to even die. Coorperations need to realize that nonnative species can be spread from countries to countries without people even noticing they are in the process of being spread. This is what makes the importation of nonnative species so dangerous.

Worst:

Agricultrally when a farmer is being pested by certain insects such as beetles. In source F, Australian farmers were being annoyed by beetles so they wanted to bring in a nonnative species to kill the beetles. The cane tads were able to kill the beetles but they also ended up killing other insects, bird eggs, and even pets. The toads began spreading around the country which made the beetle problem less of a problem than the toads. Importing theses nonnative species caused more damage than good and is another example why one should be very cautions about importations.


 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? My paragraphs do not flow in a logical direction because they do not really fit with the prompt or my topic sentence. The prompt was to evaluate what a business or government agency would need to consider before transferring a hardly but nonindigenous species to another country. I did not relate any of my topics to a business or government agency at all which made my body paragraphs extremely weak. The only reason why that paragraph is strong is because it makes more sense that the rest of my paragraphs.
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? My essay was not well organized and thoughts were jumbled all over the place such as my topic sentence "Agricultrally when a farmer is being pested by certain insects such as beetles." that sentence doesn't even make sense!
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? I do not think that my essay would presuade anyone because it doesn't make any sense. I thought that i had a good point but it never came through in my writing because my sentences do not make sense. I did explain my sources well such as "The picture shown in source A of balsam fir trees killed by infestation of balsam woolly adelgids is a perfect example of an importation of a nonnative species that ended up harming the environment and potentially ourselves."
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) I do not answer the question "how do you know" and is confusing to the reader. None of my evidence is strong and everything is weak. Even in my strongest paragraph i do not have enough opinion or examples to make a good essay. for example i do now show how SARS is an example that a business or government agency should consider when choosing to bring in nonindigionous species.
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) The evidence is introduced correctly. "The picture shown in source A of balsam fir trees killed by infestation of balsam woolly adelgids is a perfect example of an importation of a nonnative species that ended up harming the environment and potentially ourselves."
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? Each sentence does not lead to the central point because none of my paragraphs talk about why a business or government agency should consider these reasons. My most coherent paragraph is my third paragraph because it has the least amount of grammar errors.
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? None of my paragraphs are developed. My best developed paragraph is my third paragraph because it talks the most about the effects of SARS and how it is an example while all my other paragraphs mainly focus on the source. My second paragraph is the worst because it does not develop a theme at all throughout the paragraph.
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? This essay has a ton of grammar, spelling and usage errors. The worst is the grammar and spelling and i need to fix that.

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? This essay is not very interesting because it is so hard to read. The grammar and spelling is distracting to the reader but the most interesting part is when i talk about the effects of SARS. The reader will be confused because my sentences do not make much sense.
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? I do not think that this is an effective essay and I think that it is a terrible essay and if not the worst, one of the worst essays I have ever written. It would not persuade anyone to support my essay because people will not know what to support.