P3+KGalvan

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //Many people believe that it is something extremely simple to introduce an exotic species to a new place and that it will immeditly resolve the problem. Little do people know that what they beleive that will improve their current condition may actually make it much worse.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2])**The thesis statement that I wrote does express the main point that I am making in the essay because it talks about how something that people may beleive will benefit their community may actually end up doing the complete oppisite.** (ex."//Little do people know that what they beleive that will improve their current condition when really it may actually make it much worse.")//
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) **My thesis statment reflects most of the essay but at times it just "fades" and the parts of the essay dont follow it at all.**
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5])
 * 4) **My thesis statement makes a negative statement because whats going on is negative.**
 * 5) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? **My thesis does pose an arguement worth argueing because it discusses how importing animals to certain places in order to solve a problem isn't good.**
 * 6) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) **My thesis doesn't have active words at all.**
 * 7) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) **My thesis statement doesn't awnser the questions "why?" and "how?" at all.**
 * 8) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? **My thesis statement is very clear, precise, limited,controversial, and informative. It gets straight to the point.**

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) //__**INTRODUCTION:**__// There are numerous things that any buissness or government agency has to consider before transferring a large amount of non-indigenous species to another country. In the past, there have been many incidents in which a buissness or government agency hasn't taken into consideration all of the possible outcomes of bringing in a new species.Many people believe that it is something extremely simple to introduce an exotic species to a new place and that it will immeditly resolve the problem. Little do people know that what they beleive that will improve their current condition may actually make it much worse.
 * //__Conslusion:__//** Though many country's haven't made much use of the fact that they can research the success and failures of bringing other animals to solve their problems, hopefully they will eventually. This is because it can either make or break their whole plan. Not only can the plan go wrong but it can turn into something so much greater as times passes.
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d)-- **My first paragraph is somewhat interesting and it provides some specific material but it could be more in depth. The only part that may capture the audience's opinion is when it says "what they think may improve theircurrent condition may actually make it worse**.
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. **I dont beleive that I make clear contract with the reader but I am not so sure.**
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) **The end of my essay doesn't satisfy my direct contract with the reader because it tends to go off on a tangent.**

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.)
 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **My body paragraphs tend to start off well but they eventually go nowhere. At points it may awnser the question but it gets repetitive. I beleive that my weakest transiton is:These are very important factors to consider in order for your plan to be successful. Worst:Because of peoples lack of preparation 774 people died because of SARS.**
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **I beleive that my weakest transiton is:These are very important factors to consider in order for your plan to be successful. Worst:Because of peoples lack of preparation 774 people died because of SARS.**
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? **My essay does in fact pursuade the reader to understand and agree with my view on the importation of animals. This is because I use the right sources as proof as what had occured in the past. My sources are smoothly brought into the body paragraphs and they go along with everything.**
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) **At times my essay is awnsering the question "How do you know?" but at times it goes off topic and goes completely nowhere. The overall evidence of my work is powerful its just whats around it that is completely weak.Strongest:Source B---Weakest Source A.**
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) **The evidence is in fact delivered clearly and cited correctly throughout the entire essay.**
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? **At times the essay leads each paragraph to the central point but most of the time the direct point gets lost because of repetativeness. My most coherant paragraph is my 1st body paragraph and my least is my conclusion.**
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst?**My passages aren't completely developed. The worst is my ending for my 1st body paragraph and my best is certain peices of my 2nd.**
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? **My grammer in my essay is to be considered:okay =)**

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? **My essay isn't interesting really only the first 2 paragraphs are. It would be most interesting to people that are not sure whether to import animals. Ther are NUMEROUS parts of where the reader might become confused.**
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? **I beleive that this essay is effective in the beginning but it ends up going nowhere at all in the end. I think that my thesis was strong but it went downhill from there.**