P3+KJohnson

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

//**As humans, we produce and consume many things in our society and we affect other species in our region.**//
 * 1) The thesis statement I've written in my essay expresses the main point, which is that our society changes the world.
 * 2)  I believe that my thesis statement reflects everything in my essay, and it's developed throughout the paper.
 * 3) The introduction makes a positive statement by telling people to think about all of the consequences of their actions. "A business agency would need to consider all the possibilities of success or failure before transferring a hardy but nonindigenous species to another country."
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? The thesis is worth arguing for the essay topic and the argument is that we both help and hinder other forms of life.
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? Yes, clauses are in the active voice. For example "we produce and consume" and "we affect other species".
 * 6) The thesis statement does not answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader because there is not enough information.
 * 7) It is clear, precise and defensible, but also limited.

B. Introduction and conclusion.
 * //Introduction- As humans, we produce and consume many things in our society and we affect other species in our region. A business agency would need to consider all of the possibilities of success or failure before transferring a hardy but nonindigenous species to another country. Possibilities like the region benefiting or losing from the species and if the species itself thrives.//**
 * //Conclusion- If I worked in government agencies or a business that needed to consider everything before transporting nonindigenous species to other countries, I would make sure that the species would in no way harm the people, animals, or environment we were sending it to. Also, we would take care that the species itself wasn't harmed and that it could be controlled. Expanding the areas of where an animal or plant can be found is very helpful, but keep in mind that they could hinder as well.//**

1. It does not really make a clear contract with the reader, but the contract is about certain examples of environments that were destroyed by imported species. 2. My conclusion of the essay does not satisfy the contract with the reader because the conclusion is not specifically about destruction of habitats.

C. Body Topic sentence and the first paragraph: **//There have been many examples of environments being killed by imported species. For example balsam fir trees were demolished after an accidental importation of balsam woolly adelgids ate away at them. And in 1990 the Perrys' had a thriving papaya farm in Hawaii, yet two years later an exotic microbe was accidentally imported and their farm was lost, all because of the papaya ringspot virus.//**

Second paragraph: **//In other situations, not only trees died but people did as well. On February 2003 SARS spread within months to dozens of countries worldwide that made 8098 people sick and killed 774. Spreading of SARS was caused by the interactions of people and animals. Importation of animals like civits was dangerous because they were capable of spreading viruses. The main idea is to make sure the transported species does not harm the environment it's being sent to.//**

Third paragraph: **//A second possibility is the species getting out of control. An exapmle of this would be the cane toads in Australia who in 1935 were imported to control two kinds of beetles that chewed through Queensland's fields of sugar cane. However, instead of the toads eating just the insects, they ate other things like bird eggs, pet food and other insects. They were poisonous so peoples' pets died. This is a perfect example of the problem of invasive species.//**

1. The paragraphs of my essay move in a logical direction of making a statement and then following up with facts. The reader's questions should have been answered and the point would be that bringing in different species could be possibly harmful. 2. The overall organization of my essay is neat and clear and the transitions are strong throughout the paper. 3. My essay would be persuasive to someone who doubted my thesis statement because I have hard facts in the body paragraphs like the Perrys' papaya farms and the devastation SARS brought.I write about actual people like the Perrys', but the essay could be more interesting if I added a more specific explanation towards the ending. 4. A doubting reader would be satisfied by relying on the evidence given, or the numbers of deaths like SARS. The overall quality of the evidence in the essay is fair and the strongest evidence is the example of SARS, while the weakest evidence would be the destruction of the balsam trees due to needing a fuller explanation. 5. The evidence was introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, yes. 6. Each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from a central point and the most coherent paragraph is the consequences of interaction between people in the U.S. with SARS. The least coherent is about the balsam trees because not everyone may understand the balsam woolly adelgids. 7. Not every paragraph is fully developed. There could have been more support of my arguments. (2c) My best developed paragraph is the third, about a species getting out of control. The worst one is possibly the first. 8. This essay is clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage. My most frequent errors are perhaps not being clear enough. Overall: My essay can stand on its' own by the facts, but it could be stronger. 9. This essay is not all that interesting but it would be to people who are interested in transporting animals or who are bug specialists. The readers less interested in this paper would be younger children or people who have short attention spans. 10. This essay is affective, but only because the number of facts is more than one.