P4+KHilva

Welcome!

Please copy the following questions to your individual page and then enter the appropriate responses. Provide evidence (quote from your own essay) whenever possible. Have fun!!!

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //Importing and exporting species is a serious matter. Security should be tighter and the rules and regulations should be harder to meet so "accidental imports" don't happen and cause problems with our community.//**


 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2]) //-Yes//
 * 2) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) -//For the most part//
 * 3) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) //-Positive.//
 * 4) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? //-The argument is: Security should be tightened for impoting species to avoid problems that may occur in our communities.//
 * 5) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) //- No, I use "is"//
 * 6) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) //-No//
 * 7) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])? //-The thesis is clear and specific. Controverial. It is defensible.//

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //I don't have a stable conclusion//**
 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) -//The first paragraph isn't well separated, but it does provide concrete evidence.//
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is.
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d) - //I don't have a conclusion//

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.) People aren't to blame complestly because of unintentional import, they have faults with intentional ones as well. Best paragraph: The photo in source A of the balsam fir trees that were killed by balsam woolly adlegies, shows us an accident that should have been prevented. If people don't pay attention to something they are inviting into their country, into their home, then it pretty muc says that they don't care. Worst paragraph: Although inporting and exporting, intentional and accidental species and suffering from the consequences is our own fault, there is something we're doing right. "the plant has already shown some promise in the tests of farm scale..." [source C] We actually are taking precautions...(not finished)//**
 * //(not correctly broken into paragraphs)//**
 * //The photo in source A of the balsam fir trees that were killed by balsam woolly adelgies, shows us an accident that should have been prevented.
 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? //-there is a point made in the paragraphs, howevere they aren't very logically placed. the transitions are not clear untill the last paragraph.//
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest. //-The essay was not well organized. the weakest transition would be the first three paragraphs, there was no transition or indent. the strongest would be the last paragraph, (although it stops abruptly)//
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? //-I do think that thie essay may be able to persuade some people, The use of examples of incidents that were sevearly problematic, caused by lack of rules and ragulations//. //I wrote about the balsam fir trees that were destroyed because of an "accident". I did not write about specific people. It would help if there was a more specific explination especially towards the beginning.// //There are places that I could talk about the source in a more clear manner.//
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) //-I don't Clearly answer "how do you know" but i do provide examples as to why the talked about things have happened.//
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) //-It's introduced correctlyand mostly clear. They were all cited//
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? - //the most coherent paragraph is the one that is suppose to be second. The least coherent is the last one.//
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? //- No the paragraphs aren't fully developed. The first one is more developed than the rest. the worst developed would have to be the last, seeing as how it is unfinished.//
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors? -//The spelling is correct, the grammar can be improved. No indentation//

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? -//Sadly I don't think this essay is too interesting, environmentalist type people may find interest in it.//
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why?  //-I think that this essay has an effective start and purpose, but it is not well written through out the entire work and considering it is not finished, I do not believe that it would be a very successful essay when read by others.//