P3+DONeil

A. Thesis statement and essay unity.

(Please copy your thesis from your essay here. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.)
 * //Before transfering a hardy but nonindigenous species to another country, it is essential that business or government agencys consider how the species would affect the selected region, and also make sure they are not unintentionally introducing new species.//**
 * 1) Does the thesis statement I have written at the end of the essay really express the main point that I make in the essay? ([|TS 2])**No, the thesis statement I have written at the end of my essay does not express the main point that I make in the essay because it only brings up half of what is discussed in the essay.**


 * 1) Does the thesis statement reflect everything in the essay? Does the essay develop everything in the thesis statement? ([|TS 3]) **Yes, the thesis statement reflects everything in the essay because it clearly points out the two points that are to be discussed. My esssay develops the thesis by using examples from the text to defend its point.**
 * 2) Does the thesis statement make a positive statement rather than a negative one? ([|TS 5]) **The thesis statement makes a negative statement because it mentions "unintentionally" introducing new species.**
 * 3) Does your thesis posit an argument that is actually worth arguing? What is that argument? **Yes, my thesis has an argument that is actually worth arguing. The topic of what agencys should consider before exporting is argued.**
 * 4) Is every clause in the thesis statement in the active voice? ([|TS 6]) (List the subjects and verbs of each clause in your thesis statement below to illustrate your answer.) **No, not every clause in the thesis statement is in the active voice. Transfering-a species; government agencies -consider; species- would affect; introducing- new species**
 * 5) Does your thesis statement answer the questions "why?" and "how?" to the satisfaction of a doubting reader? Your thesis statement, of course, will not support or explain or provide evidence of why or how, but it should state the reasons why it is true if these will be discussed in the essay. ([|TS 4]) **My thesis does not answer the question of how it is important to know how a species will affect a region. Also it doesn not say why my main point are essential.**
 * 6) Is your thesis statement clear [|(TS 7)], precise and limited ([|TS 8]), controversial or informative ([|TS 9]), and defensible ([|TS 10])?**Yes, my thesis statement is clear because it adresses the points at hand without any extra information. It is also precise and limited because it does not have an argument that is too hard to defend. My thesis is informative because it makes the reader read information it doesn't already know and want to read more. It's also defensible since it changes the way readers think about exports.**

B. Introduction and conclusion.

(Please copy your introduction and conclusion from your essay here, labeling each. Please bold face and italicize your thesis.) Intro: The effects of putting invasive species; species which are nonnative to an area, into an area can have all sorts of effects. Although many positive effects can be produced by introducing new species into a region, negative drawbacks are always common. **//Before transfering a hardy but nonindigenous species to another country, it is essential that business or government agencys consider how the species would affect the selected region, and also make sure they are not unintentionally introducing new species.//**

conclusion: **//Again, officials should mostly consider how the species will affect the new area before exporting it.//** They must be absolutely sure the species will have a positive effect, and also make sure not to accidentally introduce a foreign, harmfull species. With a little more effort, and extra attention to detail, our country will be trading without worries in no time.


 * 1) Is your first paragraph interesting? Does it provide concrete and specific material that is likely to catch the reader’s attention and focus it on your topic? (2d) **My first paragraph is not interesting because it does not hook the reader. No concrete material is included to hook the reader into my topic.**
 * 2) Do you make a clear contract with the reader? Please summarize what you believe your contract is. **I make my contract very clear. I believe my contract is informing the reader that I will tell him or her what it is important for agencies to consider when exporting.**
 * 3) Does the conclusion of your essay satisfy your contract with the reader? How? (2d)**My conclusion satisfies my contract with the reader because it restates the contract, and describes the issue in a worldly perspective.**

C. Body

(Please copy your topic sentences and your best and worst paragraphs here, labeling each.) Best paragraph topic sentence: Next, before moving a species from one area to another, officials must be sure they will not accidentally introduce an unwanted pathogen or other type of species. A prime example of accidentally introducing a pathogen can be seen when discussing the SARS virus of 2003. Originating in Asia in February of 2003, officials did not want to spread the deadly virus throughout the world; but somehow they did. Many believe this accidental spread was due to the trade of animals between continents, which would create a "Complex web of interaction among humans, animals and continents." (Dybas) With all the trade between Asia and the rest of the world, it was inevitable SARS would spread, but officials could do nothing to stop it. Also, as we intentionally import animals such as snakes, turtles, and nursery plants, we are also introducing other animals that can be harmull to an area. These "hitchhikers that ride in ballast tanks,"(Baskin) or rats as most people call them, are also something government officials should consider before exporting nonindiginous species to another country.

Worst Paragraph topic sentence: First, agencys need to be positive that the new species will have a positive effect on the new region. A perfect example of this can be found when looking at Austalia's sugar cane beetle problem of 1935. Since the beetles were devouring the precious plant, government officials decided to import the can toad from the Caribbean to try to eliminate the problem. Instead of concentrating on beetles though, "the voracious toads began munching on almost everything in sight." (Spotts) After this awfull affair, the cane toad became the "poster child"(spotts) for invasive species, and let the world know what can happen if government officials introduce a new species without being sure how it would affect the region.
 * 1) Do the paragraphs of your essay move in a logical direction? Does the reader have the experience of getting someplace, of answering questions and moving toward a point? Or does the essay jump around for no apparent reason? Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **My paragraphs move around in a logical fassion. The reader will move from a broad point, to a narrow point, then to an example in the body paragraphs. Transitions are the strongest when the main point is summarized and the reader is led to the next issue.**
 * 2) Evaluate the overall organization of your essay briefly, and then point out where you think the transition between paragraphs is strongest and where it is weakest? **Transitions are the strongest when the main point is summarized and the reader is led to the next issue.**
 * 3) Would your essay be persuasive to someone who doubts your thesis statement? What qualities of evidence or support would make it so? ([|DIH 2.4]) In particular, list your specific examples and clear, vivid cases that illustrate and support your points. Do you write about actual people in the essay? Where could you make the essay more interesting by adding a story, and example, or a more specific explanation? Are there places where you should introduce a source more clearly or fully or where a citation needs to be provided and corrected? **My essay would not be persuasive because it informs instead of persuading. Specific examples that prove my point are "the voracious toads began munching on almost everything in sight." (Spotts), and Many believe this accidental spread was due to the trade of animals between continents, which would create a "Complex web of interaction among humans, animals and continents." (Dybas). I write about actual people by mentioning Australia in my essay. I cite all my resources, but some may have been cited incorrectly.**
 * 4) In the essay, do you answer the question "How do you know?" of every claim you make in such a way that a doubting reader would be satisfied? Evaluate the overall quality of the evidence you use in the essay, then comment on where you think your evidence is strongest and where you think it is weakest. ([|DIH 2.4]) **I answer the question of "How do you know?" in my essay by using solid quotes to go along with my argument. My evidence is strongest when I insert quotes instead of paraphrasing a bunch of lines. This makes my evidence more appealing to the reader.**
 * 5) Is the evidence introduced and explained clearly and cited correctly, when necessary, in accordance with MLA citation and list of works cited format? ([|DIH 2.4], 31a 1 and 3) **No, my evidence does not strictly follow the MLA citation format. My parenthesis are in the wrong spot.**
 * 6) Does each sentence in each paragraph lead to or from the central point (the topic sentence)? (2a) What is your most coherent paragraph? What your least? **Not all sentences in my paragraph lead to a central point. My most coherent paragraph is the one talking about sugar cane because there is no extra unnecessary information. When I talk about SARS and rats, my thoughts tend to get a little wild.**
 * 7) Is every paragraph fully developed? (2c) Which are and which aren’t? What is your best developed paragraph and what your worst? **Both of my paragraphs lack enough evidence and support. The best developed paragraph deals with the cane toads.**
 * 8) Is this essay clearly written and relatively free of errors in grammar, spelling, and usage? (5d) What are your most frequent errors?**For the most part, my essay is clearly written and free of errors. My most frequent error is forgetting to include certain words; leaving out words.**

Overall:
 * 1) How interesting is this essay? To what kinds of readers would it be more interesting? To what kinds of readers less interesting? What parts are most and what least interesting? Are there parts where readers will be bored or confused? **This essay has a boring introduction, but once readers get past the intro, they will find the body and conclusion more interesting. This essay would be interesting to readers who are unfamiliar with exportation and its drawbacks. Readers who are already aware of the issues at hand would find this essay less interesting. Readers will be confused at my thought process at the end of the second body paragraph**.
 * 2) How effective an essay do you believe this is. That is, how successful would this essay be a persuading the other members of the class to believe your thesis statement? Why? **I believe this essay is effective in explaining what it is trying to do. I think my class members would agree with my arument after the essay was read because of the use of language and concrete details.**

doneil period 3 11-15-07